CruciformMe

One of the elders from Highland brought his wife, who has many medical problems and is very frail, to Freedom on Saturday night. Normally she stays home, but I guess she wanted to come. She’s very sweet, and everyone at Highland loves her, but she hasn’t been at Freedom very many times.

She came in her wheelchair. A note about our building: it is possible to get into the sanctuary if you’re on wheels. However, accessibility was clearly not a major concern when it was built in the 1920’s. So once you’re in, you either need to step out of your wheelchair, or you have to stay at the very front of the auditorium. As everyone else is facing the front, where the band and the speaker are, you end up just to the left, facing the action from the side.

Her husband didn’t sit up there by her. He helps direct things from the back, so she was sitting by herself, singing along and tapping her hand to the music.  At one point, she apparently felt very moved by the music and decided to stand.

Watching her struggle to her feet was almost painful. Her thin fingers took hold of the black armrests on her wheelchair, and she began pushing herself slowly up, clearly straining for every inch of vertical movement. Finally, she was on her feet, though she look as though she might fall at any moment, perhaps even if someone coughed too hard. Growing more and more unsteady, she stood in front of us, wavering as she sang every word of the song. All the while, her knuckles remained white, still gripping the armrests with all her might in a valiant attempt to remain standing.

I was just about to try to figure out a way to get to her, when the door from the hallway opened at the front of the auditorium, on the other side of her from the congregation. For a moment, I hoped it was somebody who could help her, but was disappointed when I realized it was only Darlene.*

Darlene is one of our mentally handicapped members. Slow and simple, but sweet, she helps with the children most of the time. As is often the case with someone of her mental capacity, she is often socially inappropriate. For example, it took a long time for me to explain to her why I would really rather not be tickled whenever she sees me. As I’m not ticklish and didn’t respond to her whenever she did this, I’m still not sure how she got started. Regardless, it took a couple of months of reminding her before she switched to just giving me hugs. (”But Zaaa-ach, it’s supposed to make you laugh when you’re tickled,” she would pitifully say.) During the summer, with Abilene’s many 100-degree days, she often reeks of body odor. This does not stop her from giving out hugs, however.

Darlene stood at the front for a moment, unsure of where to sit. She slowly (little ever goes quickly with her) looked across the sanctuary, until her eyes settled on the woman who was struggling to stand just a few steps away. Darlene took a couple of hesitating steps and ducked under one of the woman’s arms, lifting her and allowing her to stand more comfortably and with stability. Together they stood until the song was over - the woman sang and Darlene just smiled under the burden that she was sharing.

My jaw dropped, and tears came to my eyes. So often, those of us who have come over from Highland see ourselves in the supporting role. Middle-class in our assumptions and self-assured in our role, we find our support back at that other building or in some other place. Its our job to support these people here, not the other way around, right?

We are so wrapped up in a false perception of self-reliance that we think that it is our own strength that holds us up along with those around us. From our perspective, we look down on these neighbors, pulling them up as we say, “When will they learn to stand on their own two feet?” I’ve been wondering now if God must look at us and say, “When will they realize that no one stands on their own?”

This is the real Body of Christ. Every part with its own function, every piece desperately needed. Some are teachers, even without meaning to be. I’m learning this lesson over and over again. We need to remember that we believe in the upside-down kingdom where the king rides a donkey instead of a horse, to die is to live, and where the educated wealthy ones need a hand up from the retarded poor ones. This kingdom is not only possible, I saw it on Saturday night.

* name changed